Monday, July 27, 2009

but i stiLL haven't fouNd what i'm lookiNg for

when i graduated from highschool, i knew exactly what i wanted & where i wanted to be when i graduated from college. now that i've gone through what most like to call "the college experience," my mind has changed more times than one. mind has really changed more times than a thousand. my dad is constantly reminding me to write down my goals. everytime my father tells me this, i automatically check this off my list of things to do in my head because hey, i've always had goals. I have been checking the whole goals idea of of my list of things to do for the past four years and granted, I've written them down in my journal every now in then....but, my goals have also drastically changed every now and then too. instead of realizing that my goals have been all over the place since i started college (i've seen myself in texas, california, new york being a dental hygenist, stylist, big corporate marketing women, and sometimes not working at all... you get the point.) i assume i'm still that girl who was so sure of everything way back when I graduated from highschool. my point is that today i had an epiphany. And, life changing epiphany occured while i was shopping. whenever i go shopping without something in mind to buy, i come home with a variety of items i do not, by any stretch of the imagination, need. Sometimes I will get lucky and purchase something I didn't realize I needed at the time, but usually I simply picked up unecessary things because hey, shopping is fun & I could use this lime green dress one day, right? I'm sure plenty of you have a closet full of hey-I-could-use-these-one-day's; I know I do.* Well, if they are still hey-I-could-use-these-one-day's, I'm sure these items are just taking up space & collecting dust. I got to thinking... my life is like my closet. (Wow C, did you think of that all on your own? HA) Who wants a closet full of things they may or may not use?

Picture your favorite item in your closet. Now picture how much you love it and how no amount of money would be enough to make up for what it means to you. Wouldn't you rather have a closet full of things you love just as much as your favorite item in your closet? I figure the best way to accomplish this superb closet (an understatement, i know) is to start by making a list of what you need and want before you galavant around the mall. If you know exactly what your looking for, obviously you will have a better chance of coming home with purchases you absolutely love rather than just purchases you may or may not end up using one day. Fill up your closet with things you are super proud of rather than things that are just going to collect dust from falling to the back of your closet. Get rid of those hey-i-could-use-those-one-day's and only replace them with items you love. And when I say love, I mean i-can't-live-without-these kind of love. Write down your goals just like you write down a shopping list. Use your goals to lead you to your life's closet full of everything you absolutely can not live without.

*Don't get the wrong idea about the items in my closet. I am using a slight exageration technique to get my point across, I have a plethora of fabuless things in my closet as well. Duh.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

numBer 1

I'm sure you all know that there is a big difference between an item being expensive and an item actually being worth it's price tag. Cost and worth is a simple concept in theory, but try to use this theory in a world of eight hundred dollar italian shoes marked down to somewhere around three hundred dollars, and you're up a river without a paddle. Do you know how much that is off? Obviously you are getting a once in a lifetime deal because eight hundred minus three hundred is.......FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS? These shoes must be worth the price if you can save half a grand by getting them, right? Beware fellow shopaholic. There is one minor downfall: you have to purchase the shoes to find out if they are actually worth the price, and sooner than later you either want to throw these shoes (one by one) down a hill because you wasted your whole paycheck on it and needless to say, youre not impressed; or you want to give each shoe a big kiss because those babies were worth every penny. I decided that it would be a huge luxury to know what items are truely worth their price so, I am going to compile a list of 10 things that fall into the expensive category, but are actually worth the money. Slowly but surely I will be making your shopping experience that much more fabuless.

1. La mer. (La what?)
I have seen this stuff all over the internet, plastered on the shiny pages of magazines, and in upscale department stores. One look at the price tag, and I’m power walking in the opposite direction. A whopping $130 dollars? Do you know what I could buy with that much money, I think to myself. Then, out of absolutely nowhere, I was ambushed by my own skin. That’s right, my skin decided to so inconveniently go into freak-out-mode. I don’t use the term freak-out-mode lightly, either. I’m talking wake up in the morning, look into the mirror, and say ew kind of freak-out-mode. I had tried everything; just to name a few: my mom’s organic skin regimen, routine facials, and Clinique’s three step. With all this growing up I’m being forced to do, don’t you think I should have this whole skin thing under control? Not a chance in hell. One day, I said to heck with it, bring on the $130 per ounce face cream. The ladies at the La Mer counter were googley eyed at the thought of actually selling an ounce of this stuff and they very happily told me very specific directions: scoop out a pea size amount, rub the cream between your hands to activate the “miracle broth,” and then softly blot the cream onto your face. I did so the minute I got my hands on the nifty little jar of expensive who knows what (an ingredients list isn’t given with your purchase because whatever is in it is kept super secret) and like a prayer, I la mer’ed each morning and night. The next few days, it was like I had a sign on my forehead that said “I just spent over one hundred dollars on my face cream, compliment my skin so I can continue to waste my money.” Left and right people were asking me how I managed to maintain my beautiful skin. Usually when you ask someone a question of this sort, you prepare yourself for some kind of this-will-never-work-for you effortless response along the lines of “Oh, it’s nothing. I just use a bar of dove soap to maintain this healthy glow!” And after this nonchalant response, to no avail, you automatically start crossing out the chances of your skin looking that good because you’ve heard the whole dove soap thing, done it religiously, and nothing. Don’t worry, when people complimented my skin, it sounded not so effortless when I responded with an overexcited “Thanks, I’ve been using La mer.” Then the little ladies start chatting between themselves, “Do you know how much that actually cost? No wonder her skin looks good.” But hey, this cream is worth the gossip. My skin is so bitchy (I have no idea where she gets it from……), if she doesn’t like something: you will know. So, if my lovely skin can use this thick cream without a cat fight, I can almost guarantee yours can. This stuff is worth the price and at the top of my list for what to waste your small paycheck on.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

daddy'S littLe girl

I am finally realizing that my dad is one of the smartest people I know. He has taught me a ridiculous amount of things that I use to so often dismiss into that "crazy old man's opinion" file somewhere deep in my mind because hey, I know better than you dad. Whenever I feel the need to be exceptionally adventurous, I'll dig up my crazy old man's file. Before I even open the dang thing, I hear a voice and beliefs I know all too well: "high expectations," "guys are looking for one thing," "go change your clothes, you look too pretty," and "eff that scum bag, he doesn't deserve to stand next to you." Hearing bits and pieces of his infamous lectures reminds me of one simple, unchangeable fact: my dad is never impressed. I quickly justify his level of extremely high expectations by him being my father, and well...crazy. Then I mosey along to rationalize his diagnosed craziness (by yours truely) with the fact that all dads must be as overprotective (did I mention CRAZY?) as mine. Makes sense, right? Not so fast. My little bubble of a world burst when I went off to college. How cliche. What's next? Good girl gone bad? No, not quite. I experienced something more along the lines of an epiphany. Everything my father has taught me? He's been right. Everything he has drilled into my head? Right again. Even the crazy things? You guessed it...............right. I'm sure you're wondering what the heck this guy has told me that's so epiphanizing. To put it simply, my father gave me high expectations even when those expectations seem impossible in this age and he refuses to allow me to accept anything but the best. As I've gotten older (despite all of my efforts not to), I find myself constantly referencing that "crazy old man's opinion" file that use to be buried deep in my memory. Some may call it a father's tough love, but I have now come to call it genius. Needless to say, I've truely learned that my crazy old man really does know his stuff. You know when your parents have a stand on an issue and they continuously find a way to bring it up no matter what? That's my father to a t. Regardless of the subject of our conversation, he will find a way to bring it to relationships and my overall well being. I'm sure we can all agree on a prima donna's immediate reaction to a father's repeated rants. Does "in one ear and out the other" ring a bell? How bout, "that's how things use to work, you're old fashioned dad"? Or here's my personal favorite, "you just don't understand." If I counted how many times I've turned on the tears and told my dad, "you just don't understand"... I'd still be counting. I used the "you just don't understand" like it was some kind of secret weapon. BAM, you don't understand dad...take that. All of the sudden the room would get eerily quiet and my father would just give me that "how many times have we been through this" look and reassure me that not only does he understand, but he understands all too well. "Yeah, yeah" I would think to myself with a roll of my eyes, and like a reflex, I wouldn't believe him. Well, I'm here to give relationship advice (much like my.....father?) and to help you skip all of the "you just don't understands." I think every girl should hear (and take to heart) the kind of advice my father is constantly giving to me because as much as I hate to admit it, all of my father's rants, advice, and lectures have helped me more than two hundred paid for designer runway looks (yes, bags and shoes included) ever could. I think we all know in lay man's terms, sacrificing those runway looks for a father's advice is the real deal. But fear not ladies, C's here. I'll relay all of my crazy old man's opinions before it's too late. Then, if you're lucky like moi, you can make a "crazy old man's opinion" file in your mind and reference it whenever you like, just like a good book.

Monday, July 13, 2009

"yoUnger now than we weRe before" - the fRay

Why is it that when you're young and totally not at the age of adulthood, all you want is to have a serious boyfriend, get married, have a few kids, a dog, and that huge white house with that marvelous wrap around porch? But.................then the time comes to actually consider the real deal and all you want to do is be in college forever, not have a care in the world except for when the next day is that you actually have to go to class, and date whoever you want, whenever you want? I feel younger than I have ever felt and I think its pretty damn ironic that things are working out this way. Do you ever have those days where you just want to live at home forever with the comfort and support of your mom, dad, and siblings, get to go out with your friends every night, shop all day, and never work? Forget growing up, I'll have one of those. Of course you will C. Of course you'll have what you absolutely can NOT have. Typical, typical, typical. I have come to the conclusion that you could put a paper bag in front of me and I wouldn't bat an eye at it (which isn't an unusual reaction) until you took it away and told me that there was absoutely no way I could have that bag. (Long pause) What? I can't have it? Why not? All the sudden that paper bag becomes fab-u-leSs. The second you tell me that I can't have something, I can give you three hundred and fifty reasons on why I need that something. For me, it's allllllll about the chase. How manyly do i sound right now? (If I sound manly in your head while your reading this, please make my voice atleast an octave higher. C doesn't want to sound like a man. ....Better yet? Okay thanks. ) The moral of the story is: don't wish your life away no matter how old you are. If you live at home, don't whine about how you can't wait to be out of your parents house. Appreciate your family while you can be around them every day. If you have a boyfriend, enjoy him as your boyfriend rather than marrying him in your head every other hour. And, if you have a louis vuitton, don't always think about getting a bigger, better one. Love your louis as he is!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

today i feeL. . .

I have always thought of myself as one of those wordy, emotional, ya-ya types. Okay, I'm going to be honest...that's a lie. I am not by any stretch of the imagination one of those wordy, emotional, ya-ya types. I've come to this realization multiple times throughout my fabulous life*, and one of those times was when I woke up this morning. I woke up, checked my blog, (i do have a life and plus my computer was right next to my bed...) and thanks to follower number 1 -(yes, that's right internet world, i have a follower) - i was feeling inspired.Due to my newly found inspiration, I thought it only fitting for me to figure out how I'm feeling today. I laid in bed and thought to myself for a long, hard time: "How does today make me feel?How am I feeling today?"After several attempts at relaxing yoga breathes and some dainty squirts of lavender essential oil, this is what I came up with: Today.......I feel...........exactly the same. Sounds pathetic, doesn't it? I have no refreshing morning thoughts, no new understanding of my sense of self, no feelings of needing to save the world..just plain old me. Plain, old me? Let me rephrase that because I've been called a lot of things, but plain was never one of them. I'm not going to start my day feeling plain? Oh my gosh. Breathe C, breathe. What I'm trying to say is this morning I feel just like the marvelous me that I've always been and still feel like the queen of everything.

P.S I think I need to go buy a new pair of outrageous shoes, just so I never get confused with the word plain ever again. I'll let you know what I can dig up.

* Sorry C's past love interests. A girl? Not the emotional one? How does this even happen?
Okay, now I'm making myself sound like a man. But, it's very true (not the man part, ha). Compared most of the women I've dealt with, my emotional level is low. Sure, I have emotions, but I like to think I have them under control........for the most part.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

waRninG: c is in obseSsion mode.

i have this habit, whiCh i'm sure many of you can identify with, where i obseSs (to the MAX) over new a n y t h i n g s that catch my blue eye."New anythinGs that catch my bLue eye" is probably one of the longest lists i've ever tried to compile. Due to this scary fact, i'm going to keep this concise (for your own good) and give you a little taste of the ridiculous things i like to call new obsesSions. like: i cant think of anything else but my fabuLesS new ________(insert new toy here) kind of obsessions. My obsessions include but are not limited to:new shoes. new meaninGful songs that i want to belt out at the top of my luNgs or danCe to untiL the sun comes uP. new cruShes. new jeans. new lipgloss. new egyptian cotton sheets.
new workout clothes. new people. this is getting obnoxious. basically, i'm trying to say that blogginG is my new obseSsion. i'm probably going to overdo it for awhile much like the way i pLay my new favorite songs over and over in one sittinG untiL i know all the words. lets face it, i want to know all the words of blogging without the aftermath of my obsessions, of course. By this i mean my obsesSions never last due to my inability to stay entertained by one thing for long periods of time, hence the aftermath. I get deathly sick of my new anythings because of my habit of overusing them in too short periods of time. So, my promise to you is to not let my habit of obsession get too out of control and to keep myself entertained enough to continue blogging. bloggers honor.

moRal of the stoRy : love yoUrseLf

If you are one of those people (again, i talk as if i have followers...........and i do not.. but its fun, so i'm going to keep doing it) who reads the back cover of a book rather than actually reading the book, I'll give you a quick fix on the whole love yourself idea. Purchase these beautiful miss dioR pumps soLd at the one and onLy saks fifth avenue. Pair theSe with yoUr go to little black dreSs and some jewelry with turqoise accents and yoU will be breaking necks everywhere you go. I mean lets be serious, how incredibly easy is it to love yourself in miss dior patent leather pumps?

Now for the reSt of yoU. . .

First of all, can we talk about how eaSy it is to blog when nobody is reading it? Its like my own little private world and i'm the queen of everything. Being the queen of everything would make my little girl dreams come true and I think that is why I enjoy giving advice so much. It is almost like i'm giving orders as the queen of everything except better because i like to tell myself these orders aka advice actually are for the better of mankind. Okay, giving advice is nothing like being the queen of everything but i had to attempt to tie that thought in somewhere. My point is:I find myself constantly giving advice about relationships. i'm sure you all know that when relationships are good, they're really good. But when they are bad, they are worse than a Christian Louboutin sale that you didn't know about until it was over. Thats right, when relationships are bad, they are effing awful. These are the times I most often find myself advising my girlfriends through over and over. Each time I give them advice, I get the same response: "Oh, I can't do that. He'll never talk to me ever again." By their recurring response, you would think that I am telling them to put on their go to dress, take a shot of tequila, and kiss their boyfriend's best friend right in front of his face. Thats a good idea, but what I actually advise my girls to do is to stand up for themselves. Why is it so hard to tell the person you "love" that you are sick of being treated like a mindless pawn and want to be treated like the queen of everything, like you deserve? The answer to this question is simple: lack of confidence inducing fear. All my friends are afraid to lose their lover. This is very dangerous territory because that's when you act out of fear more often than out of love in your relationship. Everything is justified by a variation of this saying: "oh, i don't want to lose him so let me do this even though i don't want to." Shouldn't you be thinking more along the lines of "I really don't feel like doing this, but because I love him I think i can suck it up."? Plain and simple: don't be such a wussy and either love him or get the heck out.
Back to my answer to the what seems like a simple question above: lack of confidence inducing fear. If you don't have confidence in yourself, you are asking for an awful relationship on a golden platter. A shiney, gold platter. If you don't love yourself, why would anybody else? If you don't look out for yourself, whose going to? Your boyfriend? Er, wrong. Fail. Get to the back of the line. Relationships are hard as it is, don't make it even harder by trying to develop a relationship with yourself through your relationship with your lover unless you enjoy grinding your teeth and high blood prAdd Videoessure. This is not an exaggeration. I have seen girls loose insane amounts of weight, gain insane amounts of weight, go into crazy weird depressions, and start eating their hair because they lost "themselves" when they lost their boyfriend. WRONG. do not pass Go and do not collect 200 dollars. I have much more to say about this topic, but life calls so i will end with a quote by the one and only Carrie Bradshaw (otherwise known as Einstein):
"the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."

a littLe bit of everything? check.

faShion? check.
reLationships? check.
pointLess gosSip? check.

instead of limiting my exceptionally important thoughts to that of my pretty little head & the conversations i have with my friends, i figured it is my civic duty to share my wealth of knowledge to the internet universe. hello world, C here-and i have something to say......................about absolutely everything.* my grammar skills are so (yes, i know this is my third so) bare with me on this one.

*why am i calling myself C? oh, because i dont want to use my real name because this bloG is obviously going to make me famous. HA! But in all seriousness, this girl is paranoid. The funniest part is: (drum roll pleaseeee...) i dont even have a single follower? What am i paranoid about again? yeah um, thats all for now folks.**

** and by folks, i do mean future followers. :)